[xquery-talk] Collections - family relationships

[Ihe Onwuka]

On Sat, Jan 18, 2014 at 8:23 PM, Adam Retter <adam.retter at googlemail.com> wrote:
> I do not think anyone has mocked you... until just a second ago.

If I hadn't seen it happen to others I wouldn't have mentioned it.

> I think the
> XQuery community and this mailing list are friendly and helpful. I have been
> a part of it for 9 years now.
>

Exactly. But hang on I never said the list wasn't friendly and
helpful.  I get offered code and solutions that I don't want or need
and I've said why that gets frustrating. So why are you saying this?
Because someone just mocked me and thats not friendly and helpful.
Look I'm not  bothered. It's like being told I have a shallow grasp of
the fundamentals of Scrabble when the only reason I am playing it is
because I have an eye for a member of the opposite sex who enjoys it.

> Given the way that you phrase your enquiries, I also think they are
> incredibly patient and tolerant.
>
> I'm going to be honest. Your pushing the limits of what the majority find
> acceptable, and you are rubbing people up the wrong way, not just here but
> on other mailing lists too.

I'm going to be honest too. It's because of who I'm saying it to isn't
it. Because if I said to a johnny come lately don't mock people who
are making an effort to read the language specification and solve
their own problems there would be a chorus of agreement.

> May I suggest, that if you want to seek help
> from the community by posting to these mailing lists, then you will get a
> better response by being polite and considered.
>

Thank you but I always end up getting fantastic, helpful and
knowledgeable responses to my questions. Always.

>
> I know JoeW to be a very calm, knowledgeable, helpful and above all, nice
> person, but I fear you may have broken him.
>

Yeah I know and he's part of what you are part of and I'm not. I know
how it works.

 I have seen this dynamic at play before on sibling lists and I am
neither the first nor the only one to have made that observation.

I am a regular visitor to DC Metro. Since my self-esteem is not
aligned with the perception of my proficiency in XQuery nothing he has
said here would act as a barrier to my desire to willingness to quaff
a beer with the man.

 On the other hand Uche Ogbuji despite being a tribesman is a
completely different matter. He is a Gooner.